Gordistotle’s Guide to Conquering NYC

This article is part of The G Spot, a weekly segment where criticista Gordistotle gives insight into the pop culture happenings of now through opinions or anecdotes on his life living in Toronto.

I’ll be honest, there was almost zero anticipation in the weeks leading up to this trip. Being that it was on the shorter side, it was best to not build it up too much. My boyfriend Sean and I had planned it relatively in advance, late June for mid August. I didn’t know if I’d have the time off work, August is the month everyone wants off after all. As someone with zero seniority, I took what I could get. 

Our excitement started to grow while we planned our itinerary the week before we left. “Oh, we’re actually going now, I can’t believe it’s already August!” You know, the usual things people say before they travel. Time flies. 

I’ll admit, I’m a nervous wreck when it comes to airports and timing, two hours isn’t early enough ok! I slept in multiple airports when I travelled Western Europe last spring because my flights were early in the morning, better safe than sorry right? Thankfully this time I had company to put my nerves at ease. 

The flight there was fine, my anxieties for nothing. We landed in Newark at 9:30PM and by 11PM we were in our Hell’s Kitchen hotel.

Highlights of the trip

Seeing my friend Siri, who I hadn’t seen since I formally met her the last time I was in New York last December (internet friend). After our dinner at Thai Diner (amazing food by the way) we took it to Koreatown for some karaoke and sang our hearts out to KPop classics. 

My favourite way to travel is by immersing myself into the city and LARPing as a local. We travelled all across lower Manhattan almost entirely on foot to shop, eat, and sightsee and opted only rarely to take public transportation. Why am I visiting just to be in a small cab or bus? I’m here to sightsee. 

The MoMA is such a staple, we made sure to wake up early and went right when it opened to maximize our day. It was right beside our hotel so we actually ended up getting there before it opened. My favourite part was definitely the gift shop the “Crafting Modernity: Design in Latin America 1940-1980” exhibition. I’m always looking for apartment inspiration… 

Shopping in the LES was insane, Toronto needs to step it up, quickly. Stepping into the second floor of 75 East Broadway and seeing all the consignment stores really was something else. There’s also this chain there called 2nd Street Vintage. I happened to visit one the first time I went to New York not knowing it was a chain. This time around, Sean and I made a mission out of visiting all of them… Come to think of it, I think we went to over 30 stores across the city. Perhaps it’s for the best that Toronto's vintage shopping is mostly annexed to one street… my wallet couldn’t afford to do this every weekend.

After a few beers, our last evening was spent in Washington Square Park with Sean and his friends. Sitting amongst the crowds of people while we all attempted to cartwheel (I haven’t done one since I was 9) and shot each other with a digital camera was really refreshing. The proximity to NYU did leave me a little salty though… not that I would trade my education at TMU for anything in the world. 

I compiled a Dos and Donts list if you want some inspiration for the next time you take a trip to the big apple!

DOs

• Get a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll from the deli.

• Quintessential for a visit to New York. Make sure you vet the deli first, if it’s more than $5, leave. They’re scamming you. “Are you from New York even?” 

• Use your student ID to get a discount on MoMA tickets

• Well, really visit the MoMA in general. If you aren’t a student, it doesn’t matter, they didn’t even check my card. Yes, I am all for supporting the arts, but 30 american dollars? That’s like a rent payment if you make the conversion to Canadian. Take my $17USD, that’s all I can offer… sorry. I’ll keep working hard so I can be a patron of the arts one day.  

• Opt for a hotel over an AirBnb

• Where in Manhattan are you getting a long weekend’s stay for less than $1000? I’m talking downtown, we weren’t commuting for 30+ minutes. Is a hotel a vibe? Not really, but we’re not there to sit in the hotel all day. We would leave at 9am and get back late at night, we’re there to sleep! Also $1,500 for three days and having to clean up after ourselves? You’ve got to be kidding me. 

• Walk the High Line

  • A gorgeous stretch that was built on a former rail line on the west side of Manhattan, tons of gorgeous buildings nearby to take pictures of. Overall a nice place to take a morning stroll. Oh Toronto, please invest in some pedestrian-friendly projects.

• Visit the Chelsea Flea Market

• It’s like eBay in real life. I put on my best poker face and tried to haggle with the seasoned vendors. I was able to get a Seiko World Touch Clock down from $80USD to $50USD but the seller wouldn’t take credit. Sorry, we don’t have Cash App in Canada and I blew the last of my cash on a hotdog, do you have Interac eTransfer?

• Shop until you drop

• New York has some of the best stores in the world, Toronto pales in comparison when it comes to second hand shopping. Even if it means dropping an entire paycheck (or two), fill that carry-on with an entirely new wardrobe. It’s almost fall, new season new me!

DONTs

• Buy a hotdog anywhere downtown

• I should have known better than to succumb to my Sex and the City fantasies.  Splitting a hotdog from a street vendor seems like a cute idea until you’re told it’ll be $10USD. I tried to walk away but after getting shouted out, I shelled out the cash. Always look to see if prices are listed, if not, find another cart, there’s dozens.

• Buy cigarettes at a cigarette shop

• More importantly, don’t tell the clerk that you’re a Canadian and can’t get menthols back home. Was it worth $20USD? Not really, but it’s a learning experience, right?

• See a show

• I know, controversial. Everyone over the age of 30 had asked us if we're going to see a show, is it because we’re gay? We only had 72 hours in the city, we had to maximize our time. We each had friends to see on the two full evenings we were there, so we opted to prioritize nice dinners over seeing 7PM shows. Why can’t the shows start later, I thought this was the city that never sleeps? 

• Not check your cell plan before arriving in the States

• See, I had assumed that I didn’t have Canada + US, therefore I went without service for an entire day. After a day of unrelentlessly pestering my boyfriend to turn his hot spot on, I was using the public library’s free wifi when my Dad informed me that my plan does in fact have North American wide coverage. Crisis averted, now I can scroll Instagram instead of paying attention to my surroundings!  

• Order smoked salmon bagels at the deli

• On our last day, we thought we’d treat ourselves to a smoked salmon bagel, one of my favourite breakfasts. What a terrible decision. The bagel had a mountain of cream cheese and lacked the usual capers and onions. After having spent $10USD (I know, ridiculous, but we thought it was a luxury), I wish I had just gotten another bacon, egg, and cheese. 

Wrapping up 

The flight home was scheduled for 8:30PM, giving us essentially an entire day in the city while still getting back to Toronto at a reasonable time. It just so happened to be the day of my friend Zain’s going away party, so I was anxious to get home on time and see him off. We made it through Newark with lots of time to spare, as we made it past security Sean informed me that the weather in Toronto was horrible. Uh oh. Having had to stay overnight in Newark the last time he visited New York, he knew the warning signs. 

Then it began, the first delay. Alright, leaving at 9:30 now. Not too bad, I’ll still make Zain’s party. Second delay hit. 10:30PM… 

After two additional hours of twiddling our thumbs in the airport, Sean and I finally boarded. We landed an hour and a half later in Pearson with no issues, breezed through customs, and immediately boarded the Up Express. I was going to make that party, even if I had to show up with my carry-on. 

An hour later, I was welcomed back to Toronto with Zain throwing his hands up in the air and giving me a hug. What can I say, in addition to being a jetsetter (carry-on was still in my hand as we embraced) I’m a good friend.