Gordistotle’s Top 10 Songs of 2024
This article is part of The G Spot, a weekly segment where criticista Gordistotle gives insight into the pop culture happenings of now through opinions or anecdotes on his life living in Toronto.
Well, it’s the end of the year, and while everyone’s making a last-minute mad-dash to the gift shop and heading home for the holidays, I’m busy writing my year-end list. Year-end lists are an age-old tradition. Every culture critique–from established journalists to your friend with a Topster–has an opinion, for better or worse. Work is slow and everyone’s resting, making it the perfect time to share each other’s ranking. I mean, what else is there to talk about?
This year I’m throwing my hat into the ring. While I may have just been the average gay guy giving an opinion in past years, I’m semi-validated now that I’m a columnist. The G-Spot is reputable, isn’t it?
So without further ado, here are my Top 10 Songs of the year!
10. UFO
You're not gonna get the song the first time you hear it. After the second and third time, you're gonna be like, 'Whoa, what is this?'
Having only debuted last year, f5ve has already begun to make waves in JPop. While ⅘ of the girls were part of E-Girls, a larger group (one thing I don’t love about JPop is just how big the groups get. Why do we need 48 girls in a group?). f5ve diverts from other idol JPop groups: instead of pandering to incels that buy their music en masse, they instead pander to the LGBT, who don’t buy any music but, they are very loud on the internet! And it worked, because that’s how I found f5ve in the first place. “UFO” is produced by A.G Cook (fans of Charli XCX will know) and BloodPop, who is the group’s executive producer (he’s known for working with Lady Gaga and Beyoncé) so you can see how the song piqued my interest. While their prior release “Underground” was just as catchy, there’s just something about “UFO” I can’t get enough of. While yes, they make meme music, it’s good meme music.
9. Juna
Not including anything from ‘Charm’ would, in fact, be Clairo shade. See You Next Tuesday could never.
I’ve never really gravitated towards any of Clairo’s bedroom pop music–for lack of a better term, it’s low vibrational. With her latest effort, ‘Charm’, Clairo ditches her previous sound (yay!) for mature soft rock/jazz elements that are way more my speed. I loved the entire album, but “Juna” was definitely the one I pegged as a standout track (before it was a single, just letting everyone know I have an ear for these things). I would have loved to see Clairo… but those ticket prices… maybe next tour! And that is Clairo shade.
8. Tyrant
One of the only songs on ‘Cowboy Carter’ that doesn’t lean too heavily on country influences happened to be one of the only tracks that has replay value (to me)… shocker!
‘Cowboy Carter’ was an absolute disappointment as a long-time fan, but “Tyrant”, the sister track to ‘Renaissance’’s “Heated” (in my headcanon, maybe because they’re both my favourite from each respective album), is. so. good. I know she was trying to prove points by making a country album, and she did—it’s the most nominated album in Grammy history. But I’m always disappointed when Beyoncé panders.
I almost never play ‘Cowboy Carter’ but my god, “Tyrant” is all I needed from her. Hopefully, act iii sounds more like it, I can’t do another bad album Beyoncé, please.
7 . Loop
Ok, Lil Cherry’s verse is jarring, but you kind of need to lean into it. It’s fun!
After the messy disbandment of LOONA, Yves was one of two members opting to pursue a solo career and let me tell you, I’m happy she did. Yves made her solo debut with “Loop”, a UK Garage track that (not to make it a competition) put her leaps and bounds ahead of her former group mates.
Having always been one of the standouts in LOONA, Yves is really forming her own identity outside the group. With a great team behind her that supports what seems to be her own artistic vision (something rarely seen in the highly manufactured KPop industry), Yves is making waves. Her latest release “Viola” was great, but nothing beats Lil Cherry’s “who the hell am I making it rain for?” rap verse on arguably the best debut of the year.
6 . Walk Like This
What can I say? I love corny music, and Flo (be it unintentionally) provides just the right amount of corn for me to die over.
British girl group Flo released their debut album ‘AAA’ last month, and while that project is fine, “Walk Like This” stands out because it’s just so ridiculous and not a week goes by where I don’t quote it at least once. “Walk Like This” is my “Espresso”.
What started as ironic listening quickly turned to genuine enjoyment, and I found myself replaying it again, and again. It’s a fun song, how could I not walk like this? And yeah.. my baby be loving on this!
However, I want more for Flo. “Check” was great, but “In My Bag” just didn’t do it for me. What makes the group great is their English charm, and it seems like they’re sacrificing that in favour of building a North American fan base, which is.. boring. I don’t want the girls to get lost chasing an audience that will never care about them. Just release music that’s true to yourselves as artists. #SomeGordvice
5 . I LUV IT
I love it, I love it, I love it, no, like, I actually love it.
Camila Cabello’s highly controversial “I LUV IT” is my 5th favourite song of the year. After teasing the chorus for what felt like months, Camila finally released “I LUV IT” to the world on March 27th. Now, the teasers already had me hooked, but I love, love, loooove this song. The repetitive chorus is just such an earworm, how could you not love it?
Yes, her general artistic direction for this song and video certainly feels derivative of a certain artist, but was it as blatant as people made it out to be? Yeah probably. Does it take away from what Camila did? Depends on how pretentious you are. On the whole though, ‘C,XOXO’ sounds nothing like ‘BRAT’ and is a solid pop album in its own right. Just listen to “Dade County Dreaming”, which needs to be a hit, like, yesterday.
4 . Yes, and?
“Why do you care so much who’s dick I ride, why?” She put the cheating rumours to bed. Yes, I fucked your man, yes, and?
Back in January, Ariana kicked off arguably the best year of her career with “yes, and?”. The lead single to my album of the year, ‘eternal sunshine’. “yes, and?” is everything I could have wanted from her. Channeling Madonna’s ‘Erotica’, “yes, and?” is Ariana’s take on house pop. Yes, this is a song that only a gay guy born well after the release of said Madonna album could truly love, but that’s me. Yes, and?
Ariana was my most played artist this year with ‘eternal sunshine’ and the Wicked soundtrack taking over my life. While I thought that ‘eternal sunshine’ would’ve had more house influences, “yes, and?” stands out with the rest of the album's tracks leaning heavily towards pop and RnB. Ariana said that she had to release ”yes, and?” as the lead single of a “I’m here, I’m back.”, and come back she did. It hit #1 on the Hot 100 and the Gordistotle Top 100. Don’t ask what the following week’s position was though. Did it freefall? Yes, and?
I really was obsessed with everything Ariana did this year, and if she’s really taking a break from music like she said, at least her last offering was excellent.
3 . Supernova
You’re like—some kind of—song of the year?
Everything Aespa has accomplished so far has led up to “Supernova”. The group’s cyber-AI concept, their token bridge switch-up, and their knack for sampling all culminate in the biggest KPop song of the year. 317 PAKs, and the 7th biggest song since the Korean Charts re-debuted over a decade ago, that’s like a #1 single for 10 weeks. Look at them go.
Their other singles this year; “Armageddon”, Karina’s “UP!”, and “Whiplash” are all excellent in their own right, but “Supernova” was the track that solidified Aespa as a leading force in KPop this year. So I’m rightfully rewarding it. It’s also my favourite.
The fact that a KPop song isn’t my #1 song of the year is shocking, and while “Supernova” definitely comes close, two songs juuust edge it out.
2 . Girl, so confusing remix feat. lorde
I just burst into tears thinking about it.
Now, when ‘BRAT’ initially came out, “girl, so confusing” was one of the tracks I didn’t like. I was unimpressed. As a long-time fan, I knew Charlotte was capable of more. That all changed on June 21st when the remix featuring Lorde dropped. The first time I heard it, I really just had to sit in silence for a bit. Well, honestly, I guess I could say I was… speechless. I totally got it.
Have I cried to her verse? Yes. Have I laughed to it? Yes. Am I getting goosebumps just thinking about it? Yes. The vulnerability it took Lorde, whose feelings are only shared every half decade (waiting on that Blood Orange produced album, come on now), to just lay it all out? It felt like we were reading her diary entry. WE RIDE FOR YOU ELLA!
The ‘BRAT’ remix album definitely improved upon a lot of the tracks I didn’t necessarily care for the first go-round, but despite being released months earlier, the “girl, so confusing” Lorde remix still reigned supreme. Shout out to “everything is romantic” with Caroline Polachek though, a close second!
1 . PUSH 2 START
PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!
Well, here it is: my song of the year. I’ve been following Tyla’s career closely since “Water” took off, and have been sneaking her into articles whenever I can. With the release of her eponymous debut album earlier this year she showed her star power. But despite Tyla objectively being the new princess of pop, none of the album’s singles took off, leading her to release ‘TYLA +’, a deluxe version with 3 more attempts at a global hit. “PUSH 2 START” immediately caught my attention, like, wait, yeah, you might have really done it with this one.
The music video took the song to a whole new level, where Tyla demonstrates just how dedicated she is in her pursuit of stardom. It’s been a while since I saw someone so hungry for it. The way she effortlessly dances through the sing-talked chorus, her belts, everything about this song is perfect.
“PUSH 2 START” is my number-one song of the year because of the potential Tyla shows as an artist. The popsphere is desperately in need of someone who can reliably pump out fun songs, actually perform, and most importantly, can sing. I don’t know what Johannesburg scientist cooked Tyla up, but she really pushes all my buttons with no hesitation and gasses me up, giving me motivation, to put this song at number one.
This is just the beginning for Tyla. 2025 will be a big year for her and this song will be everywhere. Mark my words.
Conclusion
As you can probably tell, I’m not the toughest critic, nor the most high-brow. Were these all mostly hit singles? Yes, and they’re hits for a reason.
2024 was a great year for music. It appears mainstream pop is finally out of the late 2010s/pandemic era of absolute shit from a butt. The culture in general has been inspired by the 2000s since 2020, but now the music is finally catching up. Will 2025 see the popnaissance continue? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
I just want to thank everyone as this will be my last article of the year. Thank you so much to the 10 people reading- I’ve had an amazing time doing this and appreciate all of you. Looking forward to what’s next in the new year, and stay tuned for Gordistotle’s angle on it.