POV: Your crush just asked you to take over the AUX and you kill it with Gordistotle’s 2024 Pride Rotation Playlist <3

This article is part of The G Spot, a weekly segment where criticista Gordistotle gives insight into the pop culture happenings of now through opinions or anecdotes on his life living in Toronto.

Upon skimming Billboard’s 70 Top LGBTQ+ Anthems of All Time list (not like they wrote much for any of the tracks) I couldn’t help but think… I could definitely do this much, muuuuuch, better. As most gay men could. 

As a self-proclaimed pop culture connoisseur, I’m no stranger to a pride anthem. An anthem, be it up-tempo, slow ballad, or anything in between, is what keeps me going for hours on end. 

Which is what brings me to one of my main issues with the gay clubs in Toronto, what the actual fuck is up with the music in there? Ava Max, really!? It shouldn’t have to be a sigh of relief to hear a Renaissance track… at the gay club… Who is DJing, and can I have a word? (and do you take requests?) 

I thought I’d grace everyone with my Top lGbtq+ Anthems of All Time. Well, maybe not of all time, but of what I’m currently feeling (all time is a very heavy title to just throw around). I mean come on, Billie Eilish’s “Lunch” is the 10th best LGBTQ+ Anthem of all time? Come on, don’t make me laugh. Guess they had to throw something in for the tender queers. 

I put together a little (150 or so songs~) playlist that encapsulates my vision for this year’s pride. You may know every song, (and if you do, let’s go out dancing together!), but if not, hopefully, you can find some new tracks to kick off your summer. 

Commander by Kelly Rowland 

Kicking off the playlist we have “Commander” by the true gay icon, Kelly Rowland. While Beyonce’s solo career may have eclipsed the other Destiny’s Child members, there was a good stretch from 2010-2012 where Kelly was dog-walking Bey… and Matthew was scrambling. With David Guetta as her main collaborator, the diva with blood on her hands (from ending all her peers) commanded the club scene with Europop tracks “When Love Takes Over” and “Commander”. Both songs peaked at #1 on Billboard’s “Dance Club Songs”, the clubs loved her and so did do we! 

Your Body by Christina Aguilera

So if we’re talking pride anthems then Aguilera’s 2012 classic “Your Body” absolutely deserves its spot on the playlist. Aguilera’s career has been all over the place, from dis being her seat, oreos and milk, to not even being looked at on The Voice, the gays have never forgotten the hits she’s so graciously given us. In recent years “Your Body” has become a bit of a meme on Twitter, mostly because Xtina screams the entire song, her career was in shambles, and she had to come on this bitch mad as hell!!! There’s even a clip of her entering the men’s bathroom in the video, ok ally! 

An honorary mention to “Not Myself Tonight” off the maybe too ahead of its time for certain people’s ‘Bionic’. 

Into You by Ariana Grande

Despite being newer to the scene than most of the artists included on this list, Grande has definitely cemented herself as a Pride staple. What I love about Ariana is how she effortlessly emulates the 90s Pop Diva, you know, back when you had to actually be a good singer.

Her hits span generations. From the baby gays to queer elders, “Into You” has everyone lip-syncing for their life at the bridge. Grande’s latest album ‘eternal sunshine’ features the fabulous “yes, and?”, a love letter to her gay fans that scored her 8th Number One on the Billboard Hot 100. 

Girl Gone Wild by Madonna

I couldn’t bear to not include an addition (or multiple) from the Queen of Pop. While Madonna may have many an LGBTQ+ anthem (a pedestrian would be quick to put “Express Yourself”), “Girl Gone Wild” sticks out to me as one of her best. It’s unintentionally hilarious and somehow sets the tone perfectly for this year’s pride. It is an election year [in America] after all, so how could I leave out this video?

Not engaging in any kink at pride discourse but the title track off 1992’s ‘Erotica’ definitely puts me in a leather-y vibe… my name is Gordita, I’ll be your Hannstress tonight… anyways, enough of that. 

Who’s That Chick by Rihanna

In the famous words of Rupaul, “love, love, love the song Who’s That Chick. WhooosThatChick. WhoooosThatChick. Love that kinda, stuff.” And we do too Ru!

Again, another 2012 Guetta track, was it potentially the peak for gay anthems and music entirely? Without a doubt. The disco dita released a slew of Stargate and #doctor produced tracks from 2008-2012 including the iconic “S&M Remix” featuring Britney Spears. Also to anyone begging for more Rihanna music, a reminder that she was releasing an album minimum once a year for five years straight. She’s done her time. Even God rested. 

Your Disco Needs You by Kylie Minogue

“Desperately seeking someone, willing to travel” Kylairvoiyant Minogue predicted Grindr almost a decade before its inception. Can you say gay icon? There were almost too many anthemic Minogue tracks to choose from for this spot on the list. Ultimately I decided on “Your Disco Needs You” off the career-defining album ‘Light Years’. Yes, I know, in some regards I have the taste of a 40-year-old gay man, but what is pride for if not celebrating your queer elders. 

Call My Name by Cheryl

To the average civilian, the name “Cheryl” may ring a bell, be it “Liam Payne’s baby mama” or even “oh I love Want U Back”, to those people, I beg you, cross the pond.

Cheryl, and subsequently Girls Aloud, demand your respect. I get it, you just haven’t discovered them yet, not everyone is a seasoned gay with a mission to discover all the pop music the world has to offer. But that’s why I’m sharing it with you! On the UK Chart Topping hit “Call My Name”, Cheryl enlisted Calvin Harris to help her make a carbon copy of “We Found Love” a gay classic. I mean, come on, it’s in her “Biology”. 

Fastlove by George Michael

I’ve decided to close out the list of excerpts with the diva, George Michael. Michael truly defined what it meant to be a gay pop star on this track, and quite frankly, no one’s come even remotely close to matching his energy since. Queen out to his and Whitney’s “If I Told You That” at your next pride pre and make sure to take a shot for Sweet George. 

GORDISTOTLE 2024 PRIDE ROTATION SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

GORDISTOTLE 2024 PRIDE ROTATION APPLE MUSIC PLAYLIST

On that note, I made a playlist (on Spotify and Apple Music <3) that includes all of the tracks listed (and many more) for your pleasure! So when someone asks you to aux, and you break into a nervous sweat, just remember that Gordistotle has an amazing pride playlist that he made special just for you <3.