Let’s talk Euphoria. We know you’re watching it, and if you’re like us, you were on the edge of your seat the entirety of last night’s episode. Spoilers ahead for those who haven’t watched yet … beware. 

The general discourse surrounding this episode is in agreement that it will be responsible for Zendaya’s Emmy nomination (and probable win), and after watching her performance it’s not hard to see why. Prior to the episode airing, Zendaya shared an Instagram post from an interview speaking directly on Rue’s journey and how she hopes people “still see her as a person worthy of their love”,  and “that we still see the good in her even if she can’t see it in herself”. 

This episode is challenging to watch, as it portrays the raw, emotional experience of addiction, and the uncontrollable urges that it provokes. We watch as Rue destroys every relationship in her life, leaving destruction in her turmoil as her loved ones desperately try to help her. Euphoria showcases the cruel reality of addiction, and forces us into the same positions as Rue’s friends and families. 

As viewers we have watched Euphoria in awe, anger, fear, and love. We have felt these characters crawl their way into their hearts, and however flawed they may be, they remind us of the nativity of growing up, of the confusion and pain that is inherent to adolescence. “Stand Still Like The Hummingbird” demands for us to acknowledge Rue as the flawed character she is, and to still have empathy in our hearts to know she is still worthy of our love, despite her actions during withdraw. 

Although this season has been highly criticized, last night’s episode proved that Rue’s character development remains the strongest, most likely because of how closely mirrored her arc is to Sam Levinson’s own struggles with addiction. Zendaya’s deliverance of the young woman going through withdraw is poignant; Rue goes through violent anger, smashing down her sister’s bedroom door, to a pile of tears on the floor in the matter of seconds. Her emotional range and understanding of Rue is haunting, it is as compelling as it is captivating. We experience her grief in waves alongside her, watching as she quickly unravels, bringing down everyone in her path. 

We so desperately hope that she gets clean, that she stops putting herself in dangerous situations, that she accepts the love Jules, Gina, her mother, and all her friends are extending her. And time and time again we watch as she tumbles further into a black hole, until there is no further to fall. Rue hits rock bottom, showing up at Laurie’s house begging for anything to escape the hell of withdraw. Laurie deliberately lies to her, telling her she only has morphine, and coaxes her into the bath before administering her the drug via a syringe. Her words previous linger like a ghost, “It’s one of the good parts of being a woman. Even if you don’t have money, you still have something people want”. 

The episode ends on a cliffhanger, we sit unsure if Rue was able to successfully sneak out of Laurie’s house and make it home. Regardless of the direction the next episode will head in, “Stand Still Like The Hummingbird” shows the brutal reality of addiction and the pipeline to self destruction in the pursuit of getting high, and is the most raw, emotionally draining episode to date. 

It pushes us into the position of anyone who has tried to help a loved one suffering with addiction, the emotional toll it takes on everyone around them, even friends far removed from the situation, like Maddy and Cassie. It’s hard in these moments of angry violence to remember the person that existed before the drugs, and it is difficult to remind yourself that they are still deserving of love and compassion when they continuously hurt those who love them most. Zendaya cares for Rue, and hopes that we don’t give up on her, as we witness the destructive and unforgivable actions she takes, and she felt the need to voice that beforehand, simply because she knows some may give up on her after this episode. But she desperately hope they don’t. 

Euphoria continues to push boundaries and although it may at-times cross certain lines, it challenges the cultural perception of addicts and addiction, and works on the destigmatization of the deep-rooted association of criminalization and moral corruption that goes hand-in-hand with addiction. The media we consume inherently shapes our beliefs and understanding of culture and society, and Rue’s honest portrayal of drug addiction provides a foundation for education of drug addiction that younger generations will benefit from. 

Regardless of where your opinion stands on Euphoria, this episode will break your heart, from the moment of the first scene, to the final fade to black. But it also will force you to look at your own presumptions around addiction and withdraw, and will make you reevaluate your compassion and empathy for addicts. It is hard to watch, and can be triggering, but it is also an emotional experience that transcends beyond fiction. 

Zendaya hopes we see the good in Rue, especially when she clearly cannot see it in herself, and it would doing Rue a disservice to not leave last night’s episode with a heavy heart full of compassion and understanding.