I watched the VMAs so you don’t have to
We all Agree the VMAs kinda suck now right…
This article is part of The G Spot, a weekly segment where criticista Gordistotle gives insight into the pop culture happenings of now through opinions or anecdotes on his life living in Toronto.
Being a pop connoisseur comes with some essential duties, it isn’t just all fun and games. I really have to put in the work, ok? After whipping up a dinner with ingredients from the farmer’s market (yes I practice what I preach), I made my way to the living room to be seated for what was formerly the biggest night in pop music. There’s also the fact that, like most weeknights, my evening was free.
Like every other year in my gay adult life, I was excited for the VMAs. Sabrina Carpenter, Tyla, and Chappell Roan, all artists who had meteoric rises in fame this year, were in attendance, which had me thinking that the night might end up being interesting. Are we going to get any interactions between the people’s Midwest Princess and the new it girl?
Unfortunately, in recent years the VMAs haven’t even bothered to include the forced shock value moments that made past shows great, instead opting for a more streamlined show. I understand that no artist wants to put themselves into the position of fan onslaught anymore, but this takes away from one of the only aspects that made the VMAs worth watching. It’s not the Grammys, it never has been. Act crazy.
It was evident that no one’s heart was in last night’s show, artists desperate to market their albums through performances rather than excited to be at the VMAs. Most of the acts performed a lip sync to the studio track while barely singing live. They couldn’t have even bothered to pre-record new vocals and at least give the illusion of a live performance. It’s a far cry from memorable performances of the past where artists truly gave it their all on stage. Even just last year, Doja Cat had me yelling at my TV during her ‘Scarlet’ medley.
The night’s biggest disappointment for me, which honestly came as quite a shock, was Blackpink Lisa’s performance. Blackpink are the most successful Korean girl group, with Lisa being one of the key reasons. She’s a talented performer, I can vouch for her, I know what Lisa’s capable of! This performance wasn’t even Lisa at 10%. I was flabbergasted. This is the first notable live solo performance of her career since parting ways with YG Entertainment. I was expecting theatrics and tight choreography. She’s one of the greatest dancers out right now, and she was half assing it! Your whole thing is dancing! Why was Megan Thee Stallion out dancing you!? I can understand stage fright, this is a lot of pressure for Lisa, but she honestly didn’t seem ready to command a stage by herself just yet.
The entire Katy Perry Vanguard segment was a miss for me. As someone who was on the semi-defence of “Woman’s World” and overall enjoyed “Lifetimes”, it was disappointing that Katy opted for a sloppy mega hit mix, but somehow still left out most of the hits. Come on, no ‘Witness’ representation?
Katy’s acceptance speech for the Vanguard Award was nice, but the very evident seething around ‘143’’s reception put me off. It was a cliche, “you need to ignore critics” and all that. However, her failure to listen to critics is how Katy’s already cemented herself as a legacy artist, chasing already outdated sounds that make Ava Max seem like a pioneer in pop music. This performance acted as a less than stellar celebration of life for Katy’s career, dooming her to live out the rest of career collecting Vegas residency checks when the mortgage rate renews. Also that new song she performed with Doechii is awful, genuinely what was she thinking.
The night wasn’t all bad, there were a few performance highlights (people actually singing live) including Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan, and Megan Thee Stallion. Sabrina performed her trifecta of current hit singles, Chappell Roan did “Good Luck Babe”, and Megan the singles off her new self titled album. However, none of these performances were that remarkable, they were just the best by default amongst a night of duds.
The VMAs are no longer pulling big artists like they used to, (unless they’re winning an award) which led to very predictable wins and an overall boring viewing experience. If the group of people I’m watching with can all predict the wins, why are we even watching? Well, for the performances, of course, the VMAs have never actually been about the awards, but now even the performances are lackluster. What gives?
The biggest missteps of the night were having artists like Tinashe and Tate McRae (who were in attendance) not perform during the biggest year of their respective careers. Those are performers, they give you a reason to look up from your phone, but instead we got a weird Shawn-Mendes-wearing-Jeff-Buckley wig attempt and a geriatric Eminem. Honestly, men don’t need to perform at these shows anymore. The VMAs haven’t been for the general public in a looooong time, it’s for the girls and the gays. Unless they’re hot, don’t bother with the invite.
The VMAs are a shell of their former self, even compared to only a couple years ago, it seems less celebrities bother to even show up or bring any meaningful red carpet fashion. Enough with the references, you’re one year into your career, let’s pioneer your own look, mmmkay? With the show unable to crack viewership over a million since 2020, the fate of the VMAs seems shaky. That being said, it’s not the viewers’ fault that MTV are unable to put on a good show anymore.
My final thoughts are that it was a waste of three hours, and I’m not sure if I’ll even bother tuning in next year. Which albeit, I say every year. Besides, all the highlights make it to the timeline anyways. I’d have much rather been watching Industry instead (obsessed, btw. My’Hala Emmy when?).