You're Doing Absolutely Fine
When we were kids most of us couldn’t wait to grow up. Now as adults, we fantasize about an often unachievable standard, marketed to us via the endless hours of social media that we consume daily. The pandemic has only worsened this.
If there was ever a time to spend endless hours on your phone on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter etc. quarantine would definitely be it. Despite the fact that a majority of the West is supposedly inside #stayingathome, social media would have you believe otherwise. Even in the midst of a global pandemic, influencers continue to pump out content that makes it seem as though all is well, complete with vacations and idealistic “escape the 9-5”. For most of us, this is far from our reality; we move from our beds to our desks everyday, stuck in our parents house while trying to motivate ourselves to pay attention to a computer screen doubling as the university experience.
Prior to Covid, 26% of teens said that their mental health and self esteem were lowered by looking at social media1. But this was during a time when if you didn’t want to be on your phone, you could call up one of your friends and ask them to do something. Naturally, as we are stuck being inside 24/7, we’re bound to spend more time comparing ourselves to an unrealistic glorified version of other peoples’ lives. Influencers quite literally get paid to show you the best parts of their lives. Boasting photos of beach vacations, shopping trips, and friend filled lunches are literally half of what it means to be an influencer in this century.
Keeping this in mind is extremely helpful, but so is turning off your phone and throwing it across your room. That in itself is a form of self care or protecting your own mental health/energy. As mentioned in Neha's previous article, self care doesn’t have to be super expensive or commercialized. This issue isn’t something that was talked about a lot before quarantine started, but it seems to have always existed. Most college students and highschool students never seem to feel like they have a clue what they're actually doing, but have turned to feeling like they’re unaccomplished or “failing at life”. The ideals and standards have changed for social media in general. Looks and clothing used to be the primary targets. Now, it seems that lifestyles are being sold. Comparing yourself to a teenager living in Los Angeles making youtube videos and not doing any form of education (not that that’s an issue) has become standardized. Making six-figures, claiming internet fame, or starting some sort of cheap depop scam store are all lifestyles that are praised and pushed forward. It’s very hard to find anyone that’s “a normal student”. While these things are great in terms of entertainment, they’re also super damaging to the self esteem and mental health of young people.
There’s a very fine line to be treaded anywhere on the internet. Because of this glorification, a lot of young people feel the pressure to emulate these lifestyles, even if they are mostly out of reach. Take the pandemic for example. Tiktok “stars”, Youtubers, and Instagrammers are the biggest culprits of travelling unesseraily during the pandemic. As D’Angelo Wallace points out in his ‘INFLUENCER-19?’ documentary, many travelled amongst millions of deaths, widespread panic, and general fear with no regard for any guidelines. These adults’ following are made up mostly of impressionable young people, children, or just those who generally watch them for entertainment.
While, it’s not the same thing as literally telling people “I’m travelling, and so should you.” it sends the same message. A lot of people felt trapped in their homes during quarantine and felt that travelling was irresponsible (which they were correct about). But seeing someone that you idolize and whose lifestyle you place on a pedestal travel and continue to promote said lifestyle even in the midst of literal chaos, might make you feel as though you are in the wrong. In many comment sections, many who cannot afford to travel at this point (both in the financial and physical sense of the word), rush to the defence of their idols simply because they feel like they are either living vicariously through these people or because they aspire to BE these people (maybe a mix of both in some cases).
Despite all of these qualms, this article is mainly speaking to those who were level-headed enough not to rush to the defence of a person with no regard for human life.
Feeling like you’re unaccomplished because you’re a twenty-something or a teen who hasn’t bought an apartment, moved in with your steady S.O. or figured out their life plan is absolutely normal. In fact, during the middle of a literal pandemic, attempted coups and significant social change makes it even more valid. Conversations around the content being pushed and marketed towards us need to happen more often and furthermore, the stigma around feeling like you literally don’t know what the hell is going on needs to definitely be discussed.
You’re doing your absolute best during all of it and that’s literally the only thing that anyone can expect you to do at this point. (staying home and not travelling during a pandemic makes you accomplished, if anything) Take your time, there’s no rush to suddenly figure everything out in a day.
D’Angelo Wallace’s documentary (this is very heavy on Covid-19, so if you’re over hearing about it—maybe skip this one):